Aftermath Of Lies
by PrettyLittleWriter29
Summary: " Her scent still fresh on his sheets, he couldn't escape her completely. The things he took for granted were now the things he wished he had the most ".


**So Hanna & Caleb broke up * Queue massive amounts of sobbing *. The second I saw that last shot of Caleb sitting in the chair this came to mind.**

**Alternate Caleb story between episode 4 and 5. There is a possibility The Long Way Home is a continuance of this story. **

**Enjoy! **

* * *

It had been two days since Caleb ended his relationship with Hanna, in that time sleep was no longer his friend. Emotionally exhausted he laid on the edge of the bed, wishing to god he could go to sleep. He rolled over & extended his arm where she used to lay. Her scent still fresh on his sheets, he couldn't escape her completely. The things he took for granted were now the things he wished he had the most. He felt bad enough but now he was reminded of her everywhere in his apartment.

A piece of jewellery left on the side table, her coat hanging near the door, her pyjamas over the arm rest of his favourite chair & her perfume left in the bathroom, all the things he wished were no longer there.

He buried his head under the pillow and wished it would all fade away, if only there something to distract him. Even under the softness of the pillow Caleb was reminded of her. The way she used to wriggle her body & laugh when he tickled her stomach after they'd made love or the way she used to step out of the shower wrapped in nothing but his towel, exposing areas that made Caleb stop whatever he was doing & stare at her.

The few times when they'd returned from swimming, in her skimpy frilly bright pink bikini she made his nerves stand on end. He had to have her there & then on his bed with or without the bikini on, whether she was dry or not. He treated her like she were his queen.

The nights they'd spent studying on the floor with several boxes of Thai food & coffee, the way her feet would find their way around his and the fact that he didn't seem to care. He loved that she was more affectionate behind closed doors, as if she kept all the good things for later when it was just the two of them. The little things meant a lot more to than the bigger gestures, such as a peck on the lips before they parted for class. On cooler nights; they would slip into their pyjamas curling under a blanket on the couch taking turns watching Kung Fu movies & chick flicks. Majority of the time Hanna fell asleep during Caleb's Kung Fu movies as he stroked her hair and tickled the back of her arm down to her stomach.

When Hanna fought with one or all of the girls; whether it was PMS or a genuine argument Caleb loved soothing her as she sat between his legs on the couch with her back to him venting all her troubles. Caleb never objected though, it was her coping mechanism.

That was the trust they had then...but now the closer he thought he was to her the further she would push him away, a never ending piece of string or a door you could never reach. All day in his mind he kept replaying the last words he said to her.

_" I can't...do this anymore "_

_" Cant do what? "_ She asked.

" _This. I feel like you've been pushing me away for weeks". _He couldn't hide his emotions any longer, he had to tell her how he felt, he didn't know how this conversation was going to pan out, he just hoped that if he poured his heart out she would tell him the truth. " _and I just...I keep hoping that things are going to go back to the way they were. Clearly that's not going to happen ". _He almost cried.

The last thing he needed right now was more of her lies and mistrust. The past few weeks had been hard on the both of them, her dealing with the separation of her best friend. He was trying to support her in everything she did despite his reservations, but his mother had been in a car accident shook Caleb to the core. His mother. On the other side of the country had been in a serious motor vehicle accident and he couldn't get a flight to see her for another two days. He'd only reunited with her just last year & now he could have lost her.

He was anxious to see how his mother was, he didn't need the other woman in his life amplifying his current condition.

"_ You just got to be patient with me right now "_

_" Hanna, I've been nothing but patient with you " _He stepped into her. Hanna could see in his eyes he was hurting. He was upset, she wanted to do was reach out & hold him to let him know everything was going to work out fine but today wasn't just about his mother being hurt. Today Caleb's walls had burst and everything that he been bottling up inside for weeks was spilling out into her bedroom whether she liked it or not_._

_" I feel like I only exist in half your life... ". _The next words that came to mind, he wished he didn't have to say. He thought of a number of different ways to say what he was feeling but the only thing that would make Hanna comprehend what he'd been going through was the blunt truth_. " And that's not good enough for me "._

There it was. The whole truth. He needed to be one hundred percent true & honest with her. Lies are what tore them apart the first time, this time around he swore he would fight tooth & nail to keep her but now the tables had turned. This time it was she who couldn't realize through lies, she was losing him.

He gave her everything she ever wanted, if she wanted his affection publicly or privately he was there. If she needed him to back off so she could spend time with the girls he gave her space. When he left for Montecito he made sure to ring her every day and talk for well over an hour even several times video calling. When he returned home to Rosewood he made sure she was loved.

Sleep had eluded him since he walked out on Hanna, he was either so awake his mind wouldn't stop or so tired he couldn't fall asleep. He tried watching movies, studying & even reading several books his mother sent him but nothing. Caleb Rivers was a tired mess. He couldn't function & he couldn't forget, like his words were stuck on a loop constantly playing over and over. Looking into her eyes as the tears fell down her cheek, more followed with every word he spoke. He hated the things he said, he hated that he made her cry and hated that it was bothering him more then he liked to admit.

Ever since the cracks appeared he knew things were going to take a turn for the worst.

He reached over and grabbed his phone looking at the time. Five in the morning. Far too early to be awake especially without having coffee first. He looked at his inbox, nothing. Checking his missed calls & voicemails...still nothing. Disappointed, Caleb threw the phone on the floor & pulled the covers over his head.

Why hadn't she called? Why did he expect her to ring? What would he even say to her this time? Would she still be lying to him? and for that matter Why did he care?

Because he still loved her. He still missed her. He still wanted to be with her but...only if she could be one hundred percent honest about everything in her life. Accept him completely into everything she was. An hour later Caleb's body finally gave in, his mind was at peace and he wasn't thinking about Hanna or happier times. No Caleb was in a coma, sleeping deeply as one would in a deprived state, his sleep so deep he missed the sound of his phone waking him up for school.

By the time Caleb woke again it was well after lunch, he heard the sounds of cars rushing by outside & people going about their business. He reached out for his phone, moaning when he realised he threw it half way across the room. Cursing under his breath he pushed the blankets off & went in search for his phone. When he found it by the door & read the time he was in a state of panic.

Shit! I'm late for school. Like way late - he thought.

Searching for what ever clean clothes he had lying around he quickly put an outfit together and rushed out the door, not even grabbing a bite to eat on the way. He wasn't planning on staying long. No. In fact he was only attending school today so he could collect enough work to keep him busy whilst he was in Montecito, at least until he figured out what he was really going to do.

For weeks & months on end he'd been contemplating whether he should stay in Rosewood with Hanna & finish school or if he should leave Rosewood & enrol somewhere in Montecito or surrounding areas. It wasn't something he was willing to share with her just yet, not because he didn't want to but because he didn't know for sure. He didn't know what he wanted. He loved her with every fibre of his being but he loved his family too.

Walking up the stairs into the school Caleb seen Hanna standing against her locker with Spencer, Aria & Emily. He froze on the spot wondering if he should talk to her or if he should give her time to approach him but the longer he waited the longer he knew it wasn't a good idea. He was upset, she was upset and this was neither the time nor place to be having a private conversation. He continued through the hall with his head held high only glancing at Hanna once. She half smiled but when he didn't stop she knew it was best not to approach him.

" You haven't talked to him since that night have you? " Aria asked.

" No. I don't know what to say anymore. I can't tell him there's another...you know who " She whispered the last of her words.

" Do you think he'll go and see his Mom in Montecito? " Spencer asked.

" I don't know, probably. He seemed pretty upset about the accident, wouldn't you be if it was your mother? " Hanna said as she watched him round a corner leaving her sights.

By the end of lunch Caleb had approached all his teachers for any books he needed to read, any assignments or essays that needed to be done, everything to keep him preoccupied whilst he was away. Also so he wouldn't fall behind & let his grades fall.

The last teacher he had to approach was Mrs Montgomery. Caleb explained his situation & she excused him without questioning. Piling the last of his books into his bag he swung his heavy back pack over his shoulders, adjusting the twisted straps he gave a polite smile and started walking out. Before he could reach the door Mrs Montgomery called out to him.

" Caleb...I'm sorry to hear about you and Hanna "

" Don't be sorry for me, things just happen. That's life " He said as if he didn't care. He didn't want to admit that he too was sorry, he didn't want to seem weak or insecure.

" I hope I'm not intruding but...if you ever need to talk to any body about the way you're feeling, I'm here...to listen " She said.

Caleb cracked a smile and looked back at her and said " I just really need to see my Mom that's all ". He walked out of the room making his way through the hall leading him out the front of the school where he saw Hanna sitting on the bench, he hoped she wasn't waiting for him.

She stood up to gain his attention. Nervous. Maybe scared, but not of him but more so what he may say if she says the wrong thing. All she managed though was a soft " Hey...". She looked into his eyes, he tried looking everywhere else but into hers, it wasn't as easy as he imagined it. When he did make eye contact he felt nothing but guilt. Guilty for what she basically forced him to do, he couldn't bare to look at her eyes and see that pain.

" I miss you... " She said. Caleb swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at her for a brief second, even that was long enough. He could see the pain he caused, the pain she made him cause. He couldn't say anything, he just walked off.

" Caleb wait! " She called out to him. He stopped where he was only turning his head over his shoulder waiting for her reply.

" Can we talk? " She asked moving in front of him.

" No. No we can't " He said looking down at her. " You wont tell me anything so... " He looked away.

" Caleb..." She begged him to look at her, reaching for his hand she tried weaving her fingers around his but he pulled his hand back.

" I have to go ". Caleb walked off quickly, much so he knew at this rate she couldn't catch up at least not in those heels. Hearing her say that she missed him still wasn't enough. Like a broken record he knew she wouldn't tell him what he wanted to know, more secrets & lies. More reasons to keep him at arms length. He needed more from her. He wanted the whole truth. He wanted to be a part of everything that she was since he showed her everything he was.

When he returned to his apartment Caleb was a mess. He hated that she could tear him up so much, he didn't want to shut her out but what other option did he have? How else was he going to make her realise what she was doing to the both of them. With his stomach in knots Caleb felt worst then when he was lying to Hanna about working for Jenna Marshall.

Just like then as it is now, Caleb has no one he can talk to about their relationship breaking down, despite Mrs Montgomery's offer. The thought made him feel uncomfortable talking to his ex girlfriends best friends mother. With no friends to confide in & no one to tell him everything will be fine, Caleb felt isolated & alone. The last friend he had became a crazy talking rebellious anti social fire starting lunatic. With no family near to pre-occupy him he was left with nothing but his thoughts, torturing him day & night.

Hours later Caleb was woken by a blare of music coming from a car as it drove past his window, he lifted his head from the table and wiped the saliva from the corner of his mouth on the back of his hand. Looking at the scattered papers in front of him Caleb wondered how long had it been since he fell asleep. He walked over to the window & peeked through the edge of the curtain at the street below. The weather had changed since he returned home, the air was cooler & the trees were blowing in the wind, people in the street were rushing to get indoors or into their cars. Checking the time Caleb pulled on his dirty black boots, grabbing his wallet from the table he tucked it into his back pocket. He walked toward the door pulling his jacket & scarf from the hook & wrapped it around his body. Grabbing his keys up from the large wooden bowl by the door, Caleb quickly searched his bag for his grey beanie pulling it over his head he walked out the door, down the stairs & out the back door.

Rounding the corner Caleb wondered if he would run into Hanna at The Grill. It had become routine for he & Hanna to eat at The Grill on Thursday nights as Ashley worked back at the bank. Money was still an issue in the Marin home but the severity has lessened. Hanna & Caleb would order almost the same thing each visit, but on the odd occasion they ordered something different both of them trying each other's food testing their taste buds.

As he entered The Grill the bell rang above the door, Caleb looked around at those eating their meals & searched for Hanna. He didn't know why he was searching for her or if he even wanted to find her. It just felt familiar, his body hadn't adjusted to life without her just yet. He wasn't aware that they'd been in such a routine, it just felt natural to eat breakfast together, travel to school together & go home together.

Much to his disappointment Hanna wasn't where they usually sat, she wasn't at The Grill at all. Caleb figured she must be at home alone. He didn't know what was worse being home alone or not being here together. Imagining her sitting on the couch in her sweats, hair tucked into a messy ponytail under a blanket watching trashy reality shows just made Caleb feel even worse. Breaking up was hard. One second Caleb wanted to be with her, apologise for what he'd said & make love to her again forgetting everything that had ever happened but then he couldn't bare to look at her knowing she'd been lying to him for weeks on end. He wanted to kiss her & make everything fade away but on the other hand he wanted to sit her down and force her to tell him everything. Tell him what was going on behind that wall she'd built. The wall he couldn't see until it was too late.

Caleb paid for his order leaving a small tip on the counter for the waitress, with his order tucked under his arm he searched his pockets for his keys. Returning home Caleb was the none the wiser that had he arrived ten minutes earlier, he'd of seen Hanna sitting their at their table pushing her food around the plate, waiting in the hope that he would come in & they could just talk.

Back in his apartment Caleb sat on his couch with a blanket over his legs reading one of many books from school that he intended on taking to Montecito. He was surprised how quickly he could read the book. Usually he had more distractions they he should have but he could never refuse her touch, her kisses or even watching her change clothes. When he'd finished eating his meal Caleb placed the book down beside him and began packing his bag for Montecito. He always hated leaving Hanna behind and felt guilty for leaving his mother in Montecito. He was torn between two women who meant the world to him. In Montecito was the family he always wished for and in Rosewood, the girl he loved that gave him everything when he had nothing.

Caleb's heart was in two places. And he was in no frame of mind to make a rational decision.

The next day Caleb woke early, he always did have trouble sleeping the night before he left for Montecito, whether it was excitement or anxiety he could never figure out. This time he knew the only thing he cared about was the safety of his mother. He couldn't imagine what she was going through when she crashed her car, what worried him even more was that she told him she thought someone was trying to run her off the road. Caleb couldn't even begin to process why someone in their right mind would want to hurt someone that way. How cold hearted must one be to care little for the life of some one else, especially when that person is a loving wife & mother to three sons.

The sooner Caleb got to Montecito the better. The second he could wrap his arms around his mother and see for himself she was safe the sooner he could relax. If there was one thing worse then losing Hanna it was losing his mother. For the past year Caleb spent all his trips to Montecito getting to know his mother. Asking about what he was like as a child, what his father was like, if he was even still alive and if he was did she know where he was. He wanted to know her favourite colour & food, what music she liked, what she liked to do for fun. He had a million & one questions and she was more then happy to answer, after all these were the questions that had been building up for over a decade. It was her duty as a mother to put him at rest, ease his mind so he can move on and become more like mother & son rather then strangers. Some of the things she liked were things Caleb completely hated but he still wanted to know everything bout her& his new little brothers James & Clay.

They were your typical annoying - much too honest - little brothers, competitive, spiteful & at the same time best friends. Playing pranks on each other or their parents even attempting to catch Caleb off guard several times but he was much too sharp to fall for their tricks. After all for the most part of his life, Caleb had slept with one eye open & suspected every one of just about anything without even blinking an eye. He was always looking over his shoulder even though his life was better then it was two years ago.

* * *

A sleek black car was waiting out side his apartment ready to take him to the airport. The driver blowing warm breath into his cold hands greeted Caleb as he exited the building .

" Morning ".

" Hey " was all Caleb managed. Throwing his bags in the trunk Caleb climbed into the back of the car. They began driving through town when Caleb called over the front seat & asked the driver to change routes quickly. He had one more stop.

He hadn't told her or anyone for that matter - except for his teachers - that he was leaving for Montecito, he just wanted to slip out of town quietly. He knew other then Hanna not a lot of people really cared if he was here or not.

Sitting in the car across the street from her house, his knuckles pressed to his lips Caleb wondered if he should leave her a note of some sort. Something to tell her he didn't hate her, something to let her know that he still loved her a great deal but he just needed time to process everything. Time to think about what they should do, whether they should start over for a third time with the whole truth absolutely no lies what so ever or whether he should just leave Rosewood now & start a new life with his family.

Every thought that came to mind just seemed inappropriate. It felt misleading & Caleb knew how carried away Hanna could get with the smallest of things. He didn't want to give her hope & then take it away from her. She was just as fragile as he was, heart broken, upset, confused & angry. He instructed the driver to start their travels again, Caleb felt it was in their best interest to leave their relationship where it was.

Broken & in Rosewood.


End file.
